become the world you want to see

In response to the 2016 election, I was catapulted into action. At first I was overcome by fear. But then I took that fear and funneled it into the most empowered way I could - become the world I want to see. Double down on what I do have control over. I wanted to see a more loving, peaceful and compassionate world.  I knew it had to start with myself. How loving was I to myself? How compassionate? How peaceful was my life?

Last night I heard another word which resonated with me - harmonious. How harmonious am i  with myself? Knowing that to the degree I can be harmonious with myself is the degree I can be harmonious with the planet and the world. 

I am giving up the old way of living my life and I am 6 months into living without parents. 6 months of not needed to take care of parents. The old paradigm within my body is crumbling. I no longer wish to feed the old stories of being the daughter of the holocaust survivor, and the bed ridden drug addict. It's as though I am watching that identity evaporate. And waht is left in its place is a wide open space, a vast desert before me. uncharted territory. 

At the end of my meditation -which was challenging to sit still today - my mind was going all over the place. But at the end, I was reminded of the term that guided me before - Become the world I want to see.

Today, I need to be loving and gentle with myself. I thought of big day long adventures to nearby mountains or beach visit. But my system - to be harmonius with my system - I need a day of gentle loving nature. 

​As tensions continue to increase in the zeitgeist, I am called to creating a gentle and loving day for myself. Returning to the idea of "being the world I want to see." Tuning in, to the best of my ability, and giving my system what it needs. It's such a daily practice. When I get it right, it feels so supportive. And often what I need is so simple. Today, I got it right.

Recently the Huntington Gardens reopened. I went online and saw there were tickets available for today. This feels perfect for me. And now I have an hour and a half to prepare - shower, eat a delicious breakfast and choose beautiul comfortable clothes for the sunny 80 degree weather, and pack a bag of lucious items designed to feed my soul. 

Later this afternoon, there is a group Angel meeting, and it's perfect for today. 

Right now, Mozart's Clarinet Concerto plays on my computer and it is perfect. 

​Breathing deeply.