a week in

A week ago, I drove from San Jose to Los Angeles, listening to Paulo Coelho's THE PILGRIMAGE and I was reminded that this would be the exact time I would have been walking El Camino de Santiago. Today marks the 6 month anniversary of my father's passing. Writing that makes me exceedingly sad, and I can feel my throat start to close. It was on the ride when I decided to instead create an inner pilgrimage for myself, in southern California, using my apartment as home base. The purpose of going on the pilgrimage is to tune into the energetic forms of support around me that I am unable to see but that I know are there. Support of my ancestors, my angels, the spirits in the leaves, Earth, sky, clouds, water, and the Universe itself. 

I am in a unique time in my life. I am six months into the loss of my parents. My home of 24 years is on the market. My friends, my tribe have been decimated during the pandemic. My career is in need of a complete overhaul. I am at a time in my life where I need to rebuild how I live. Nearly all aspects of my life need to be changed. 

I do not have parents to take care of, for the first time in my life.  I do not have children to take care of. I have a wide open field in front of me, or rather a cliff, and I have one foot outstretched about to walk off. 

I know I will be caught. I always have. And for the first time, instead of solely relying on other people, or turning to myself, I am turning to the web of energetic support that holds me up, keeps me moving forward, so I can step into a fuller and fuller version of myself. 

I am feeling drawn to turning inward. To listening ever so deeply. To that voice that knows. The voice that has the answers. Answers from the heart. Answers from the soul. 

I believe when decisions are made from a place of love, then my life track becomes more elevated. This is an experiment to see how highly I can elevate my life track.